August 24, 2010
How many times have you said this to yourself?
“I just need to focus.”
“What’s the matter with me that I can’t focus?”
“Focus, focus, FOCUS.”
“OK, now what was I focusing on?”
You’ve probably said or thought these things A LOT, right? Well, what if women were hardwired to be distracted?
I just listened to Allison Armstrong’s “Understanding Women“, a fun and interesting CD, where you can listen to her teach the guys about us. One of her foundational points is that men are single focused creatures (thus they step over the laundry pile on their way up the stairs, can track a ball flying through the air and catch it, and LIVE to solve problems) and women have “diffuse awareness,” meaning our awareness is “poured into everything.” She punctuates:
Guys, I’m not saying that you focus on one thing and we focus on three or four. I’m telling you that WE. DON’T. FOCUS.
When I first heard this I chuckled out loud. Funny, I thought, we don’t focus. But then it quickly hit me: Whoa, we really don’t focus. She then goes on to explain that we CAN focus, but it’s not home base.
Sisters, home base for us is a profoundly radiant place with a sophisticated capacity to sense and enrich our immediate worlds. Think of the sweet little egg that waits for the sperm, 360 degrees of energy undulating OUT. That’s why if something in our environment is off, we are quick to feel it. This sixth sense ensures loving spaces, content children and strong relationships.
What would life be like if we allow for this beautiful design? I know we are all involved in accomplishing so much that requires major focus (and since women are pretty much taking over the workforce, we’ve more than demonstrated that we can do it very well,) but if our natural urge is to flutter from one thing to the next, compelling ourselves to focus requires a loving hand.
Alison asserts that it feels totally divine for women to have a few hours of timeless puttering each week (though I think “fluttering” sounds way more fun,) where we can just float through our homes or wherever, pleasantly buzzing from one “distraction” to the next with no eye on the clock. Sounds like a delicious slice of pleasure to me.
So next time you start to run the script that something is wrong with you because you “just can’t focus,” reMEMBER that you are a woman and you have a different way. Celebrate your urge to flutter about and be assured that by doing so, your creativity will blaze.
May 18, 2010
I just ended years of frustration with the opposite sex. I have put down my sword, studied the male mind, came home and told my man to plan his next surfing vacation. I feel so peaceful, free, complete.
Yesterday, I completed Allison Armstrong’s Celebrating Men course. Since awakening to the expansive power of my feminine essence, I have been searching for a course with this very name.
I am going to be very transparent. My minds ability to see the brilliance of women is uncanny; however with men I was finding myself too often frustrated, baffled … and pissed. Fortunately, I knew deep down that my frustration had to be my problem. If the feminine essence was drenched in divinity so was the male. I just wasn’t seeing it and I needed a course correct on men … bad. I got exactly that and then some.
I heard about “Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women” from one of my Nia students, the exquisite Cherie Martin-Irwin. Cherie told me how both she and her girlfriend met their future husbands three months after taking the course. These kind of results get my attention. I looked it up as soon as I got home.
Sisters, if you are struggling with men or lack of men and suspect that you may have been poorly educated, this course delivers the goods. My being is now overflowing with all of the beautiful things I learned about men. Allison Armstrong is the real deal. Her vision for the world is stunning and she is making it happen. She is elegant, professional and hilariously funny. By the end, women were weeping and in complete awe of men.
Since I am town crier for anything that will effectively end unnecessary suffering, I am a LOUD and PROUD affiliate for this program which means if you use this link (or simply tell them your heard about it from me) I get a share for sharing. Please know I am very appreciative.
I know so many of you on this list are national, so go check out the site and find the next course nearest you. For those of you in Seattle, they are having a free intro-course this Wednesday night 5/19, at 6:30pm.
Here’s to men and all of their golden generosity.
April 18, 2010
“People are more important than their opinions” – Jorge Luis Borges
After about a year into my fabulous hiatus from saying “sorry,” that silly word snuck back into my everyday vernacular. With my wacky days running after little ones, old habits die hard and it just seemed easier to say it than not. However, I celebrate that my year-long sorry cleanse has had a gorgeous effect on my mind - the ghastly gavel is gone. What a relief. Now, sorry comes out of my mouth for one reason only – because I care about the person I am saying it to. This feels so good, so clean and so … well … right.
I realize for some of you what I am saying is a no-brainer. Though for most of us, worrying that we did it wrong or that we might do something wrong is a frequent and time-consuming process in our minds. If you can relate, this blog post is for you.
Now, here is an idea that I am crazy passionate about and I would love for you to consider: it is impossible to do something wrong. I know, crazy. But think about it for a minute.
If the above is true, it would mean that all this right and wrong stuff is truly just in our heads. It would mean that we are complex and interdependent individuals interfacing with an even more complex and interdependent planet. It would mean every moment is a new and wild set of variables that we have never experienced before. It would mean none of us really knows what we are doing and we are all doing our best. It would mean making yourself wrong is illogical.
This is the mind of compassion.
For most, the intent behind “sorry” is to convey that you care about someone and how you affect them. But wouldn’t it be just as effective and more uplifting to skip all the right and wrong nonsense and simply say, “I see that I hurt you,” or my favorite, “I see you.”
Yes, yes, yes – we do need a certain level of right and wrong thinking to organize and navigate life. Law and order is extremely useful and I am very appreciative of it. However, turn right and wrong thinking on our emotional world and you are in for an arduous path.
Getting right on wrong is a passion of mine for personal reasons and because I believe that the current state of our world is a reflection of our right/wrong psychology gone awry. More about this exciting topic in future posts …
How do you get right on wrong?
Did I make even just one cell in your body smile? If so, please share this with your world (and let me know – I love to beam with appreciation 
)
March 10, 2010
I am sooooooo NOT sorry and it feels so good. After a lifetime of being sorry, I finally realized this word was coming out of my mouth WAY too much. “I am so sorry,” “sorry about that,” “sorry.” I was using this word as a phonetic gavel – “my fault,” “I’m wrong,” “my bad.” I used to pride myself on my ability to take “responsibility,” and would be bummed if I thought I was owed a “sorry.” Now I hardly say it at all and often wince when I hear people use it.
Besides expressing compassion “I am sorry your father passed away,” “sorry” is mostly used to convey that you are at fault and regretful. However, if we examine the situations we are eager to apologize for, we usually find that we did nothing wrong at all.
Listen for who is saying “sorry” and for what reason. What you will undoubtedly notice is that women say it often and many women use the word 10-30 times/day. Like my beautiful mother’s helper Ingrid. This Goddess, who many of you have heard me brag about, must have said “I’m sorry” 30 times during her first two days of working with me. I finally conveyed that my house was a sorry-free zone and she needed to say “I am so adorable” instead, which she happily did. Even when she walked in on me pumping breast milk out of both boobs. “I am so adorable” she smiled.
As I see it for us compulsive sorry sayers, saying sorry to be polite or to take “responsibility” is another yucky energy leak (a belief/behavior that drains your life-force energy versus infusing you with it.) It perpetuates dualistic thinking by fueling the illusion that there is right and wrong. This pretend world of right and wrong breeds guilt, self-doubt, and suffocates the beautiful needs and talents of our energy body.
But don’t listen to me. Check it out for yourself and have fun doing it. Make tomorrow a “sorry-free day.” Count how often you say it and/or catch yourself wanting to say it. If you really want to go for the gold, replace it with “I am so adorable” – because you truly are.
