VOLVER with Dara McKinley: Returning a fiercely loving feminine legacy - Returning to our feminine essence.

Annihilating the Competition

I admit it, one of my favorite things to do these days is annihilate the competition … between women. Competition is quite a wonderful and necessary thing in itself. It makes sport exhilarating, is essential for a healthy economy and overall inspires us to reach higher. However, competition among women, or what can be called relational/social competition, ewe – nasty stuff.

Some of you know exactly what I am referring to, others “kind of get it” but they can’t put their finger on it, and some of you are totally in the dark. So here it is: spoken or unspoken, it’s the judgments, the criticism, the shoulds, the jealousy, the envy, the self-deprecation, the comparisons, the unsolicited advice, the out-doing, the out-knowing, the once-over followed by silence, the celebratory void of a sister’s accomplishment, the “why her and not me?” It’s the hesitance to declare one’s glory, it’s being ruled by false humility, it’s the belief that women are “back-stabbing bitches,” it’s fear. And if this isn’t bad enough – the effects are worse. It separates us from each other, creates worlds of self-doubt, and disses our divinity.

These behaviors, thoughts, and feelings are residual from 5 millennia of female competition. It is one of the biggest energy leaks happening on the planet. Imagine if you could get back all the time you have spent involved in unconscious competition with your friends and sisters.

Well, I bring great news: the whole thing is a sham – competition is not of our female essence.

I know, I know – all humans possess both the male and female essence and yes about ten percent of us have female parts and at our core of cores of cores feel male (and visa versa), or some of us find it impossible to choose one. For the rest of us, at our core of cores of cores we are either male or female, and this is huge. This means that people who possess a feminine essence aren’t designed to compete, it is not our nature, it is not what we do well.

What are we designed to do? What is our nature? What do we do really really REALLY well? We admire, we appreciate, we love. A woman can celebrate life like no other - it’s ridiculously amazing. And yes, I deeply believe this divine ability of ours is going to bring forth the better world we are all longing for.

So next time you find yourself going down a competitive hole with a sister – stop. Instead, I invite you to do her, the world and above all yourself a whole lot of good and tell her how much you appreciate one of her MANY beautiful qualities. If she shrugs it off, minimizes it and says, “oh, it’s nothing,” invite her to soak up the long, overdue recognition she deserves. Most importantly, make note of how your energy body feels when you choose to step off the competition hamster wheel and board the private jet plane of appreciation.

Did I make even just one cell in your body smile? If so, please share this with your world (and let me know – I love to beam with appreciation )