Getting Right on Wrong
After about a year into my fabulous hiatus from saying “sorry,” that silly word snuck back into my everyday vernacular. With my wacky days running after little ones, old habits die hard and it just seemed easier to say it than not. However, I celebrate that my year-long sorry cleanse has had a gorgeous effect on my mind - the ghastly gavel is gone. What a relief. Now, sorry comes out of my mouth for one reason only – because I care about the person I am saying it to. This feels so good, so clean and so … well … right.
I realize for some of you what I am saying is a no-brainer. Though for most of us, worrying that we did it wrong or that we might do something wrong is a frequent and time-consuming process in our minds. If you can relate, this blog post is for you.
Now, here is an idea that I am crazy passionate about and I would love for you to consider: it is impossible to do something wrong. I know, crazy. But think about it for a minute.
If the above is true, it would mean that all this right and wrong stuff is truly just in our heads. It would mean that we are complex and interdependent individuals interfacing with an even more complex and interdependent planet. It would mean every moment is a new and wild set of variables that we have never experienced before. It would mean none of us really knows what we are doing and we are all doing our best. It would mean making yourself wrong is illogical.
This is the mind of compassion.
For most, the intent behind “sorry” is to convey that you care about someone and how you affect them. But wouldn’t it be just as effective and more uplifting to skip all the right and wrong nonsense and simply say, “I see that I hurt you,” or my favorite, “I see you.”
Yes, yes, yes – we do need a certain level of right and wrong thinking to organize and navigate life. Law and order is extremely useful and I am very appreciative of it. However, turn right and wrong thinking on our emotional world and you are in for an arduous path.
Getting right on wrong is a passion of mine for personal reasons and because I believe that the current state of our world is a reflection of our right/wrong psychology gone awry. More about this exciting topic in future posts …